Thai dowry must be one of the most discussed issues on Thailand’s web boards. The Thai dowry system is known as the ‘Sin Sod’. Traditionally, the groom will be expected to pay a dowry or sin sod to the family, to compensate them for the loss of their daughter. The dowry or sin sod is also to demonstrate that the groom is financially capable of taking care of their daughter. The idea of “paying” for your bride is deeply embedded in Thai culture and is considered absolutely normal. Most Westerners however find this idea somewhere between distasteful or an absolute scam. The concept of dowry is not a Western concept as many Westerners believe in romantic love and that money has nothing to do with it.
DOWRY (SIN SOD)
Thai parents tend to view marriage as being based on financial security. Hence the dowry or sin sod. No Thai family would want their daughter to marry someone who does not have an interest in the financial security of the family.
This makes the dowry a must during a Thai wedding ceremony. As an example when a Thai man marries a woman he would generally move into the family home. It would then become his responsibility to manage his in-laws business be it a farm or a store. He would also be tasked with taking care of her family members and anyone related to her family. Should he fall into financial difficulty her family would then support him. The concept of dowry or sin sod even though alien to Westerners shows how closely knit Thai’s are compared to Westerners who are more individual in deed and thought. What is normal in the West such as “old age homes” or old-age pensions are not standard in Thailand. Children take care of the family during their retirement years. The dowry is therefore important in Thai culture.
In Thailand inheritance of the family home and family land is generally through the female children. Dowry however is not linked to it directly. The husband of the daughter in the family would therefore reap the benefit of all that might have been achieved by his wife’s parents. Unfortunately being a foreigner you don’t benefit from the equation. Firstly a foreigner cannot own land or a house in Thailand in his name. It is the lack of benefit that most foreigners object to paying dowry. Even though some Westerners object to the concept of dowry, many simply disagree with the amount payable. The amount of dowry paid usually depends on the social status of the family and/or the level of education of the bride or her income alternatively both. A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated woman is unheard of. A Dowry for an average middle class educated Thai would normally be in the region of 100,000 Baht.
This varies as an example, should the bride be a divorcee or a “Mia Maiy” – a spoiled/ruined wife, normally no dowry is paid. If she has a child or children from a former marriage or relationship no dowry is paid either. And of course, if she is or was a bar girl, no Thai man will want to marry her. So don’t pay a dowry for a bar girl.
Dowry does not play a role when registering a Thai marriage. There is no need to show that dowry had been paid as it is not part of the legal system. Dowry is a tradition and not a law. If you decide to marry a bar girl to get her a resident spouse visa in your country, you only need to legally marry her and there is no need to have a Thai wedding and a dowry. So don’t pay.
Consult a reputable law firm in Thailand to handle your Thai marriage registration and/or a prenuptial agreement. They will do all the necessary translations and processing once you hand over the required documents.
I am sure you get my point. But I also get your point. How can you say absolutely no sin sod when you have fallen in love with your special Thai angel? Well, first you must separate your heart and your cock from your brain long enough to think clearly.
Thai bar girls are prostitutes. Never forget that and keep things in perspective. They will keep demanding an increasing the amount they want for sin sod. As good prostitutes, they want to take as much money they can from you. Never pay one baht sin sod even if you are very, very generous with your lady. She should be very happy just to have a good life with an honest man who makes a great living, and is generous with his money, and more than willing to help her family out, but not to give them a lifetime supply of gold, whiskey, and a car to trash.
It is a bad idea to marry a prostitute. But if you do then do it right. Take her with you to live in your country so you can fuck her every day. If you return to your country alone, leaving her in Thailand, your Thai wife will be fucking hundreds of guys back in Pattaya.
If you waste large sums of money on Thai bar girls, you are insane. It is a natural thing to fall in love with a Thai bar girl. It happens to almost every man visiting Thailand for the first time. If you have a Thai girlfriend, you need to understand her culture is different from yours. And you can’t change Thai culture. Thai girls ask about marriage all the time. And they want sin sod all the time. Huge amounts of money! But protect your money and be safe.
A lot of the guys I know build houses for their ladies too. I guess that’s cool if you know you are going to live in it forever if you are going to retire and live in that house. But keep in mind, that is not your house. It’s not in your name. And legally, she can kick you out anytime she wants. It is better that you buy a condo in your name in a place like Pattaya or Bangkok where are thousands of other expats and services for expats. Who wants to live in Isan anyway? Don’t let her take you for a fool.
I guess enough farangs have paid the dowry now, that all the women and families want a piece of the action now. Do not buy into this culture. Isn’t it funny how they adopt all the parts of western society that they like, and keep the tradition of Siam that they like and will profit from? Don’t pay one penny upfront but it would be ok to help out some small amount in the future if truly warranted.
Thai bar girls are not virgins. The larger sin sods go to the virgins. Not to prostitutes.
I realize everyone is different and is going to do what feels right at the time, but if it does not feel right, listen to that feeling, and do not be pressured into paying a dowry to a family, especially to a girl who already has children, or works in the bar profession. It truly is ridiculous. I also understand how and why, especially an older farang can be talked into this, and make himself believe it’s right.
Good luck to every single person who pursues any type of life in Thailand, or a relationship with a Thai bar girl. Take it slow and don’t rush into anything.
DO YOU WANT TO FUCK MORE?
SUBSCRIBE TO GET MORE TIPS