You have been in this situation before, and you know how difficult it can be. How can you pick up a girl who’s with a female friend in a bar?
The complication comes when the non-target realizes your intentions so she will either try to interrupt the conversation and take over or will attempt to drag her friend away, perhaps to find the rest of their party. The non-target may seem overprotective and defensive, but it is more likely that she is jealous that her friend has been approached and not her.
SCENARIO 1 – YOU HAVE A WINGMAN
In this situation, a wingman can be a great help and can distract the one you are not interested in while you continue talking to the target. The non-target will then be less jealous and will soon forget about protecting her friend.
If you have a wingman, approach the non-target and say “Hi look I know this is a bit weird and I don’t usually do this but my friend over there seems to really like you and I’d like to introduce you to him”. Use this distraction to your advantage. At this time the obstacle is removed and you can focus on the target.
Have a great wingman. It is very advantageous to get uninterrupted one-on-one time while hitting on a girl at the bar. If she is willing to give you her undivided attention, it is a great sign that she is attracted to you. It also opens the door to creating a lasting connection which will significantly improve your chances of seeing her again, rather than becoming just another number on her phone.
A skilled wingman will be able to occupy your girl’s friend and give you that opportunity.
SCENARIO 2 – NO WINGMAN
However, if no wingman is available you have to maneuver your way around the non-target on your own. To do this you can be nothing but polite and agreeable to the non-target earning her respect and appreciation. The fact that you are polite to the non-target will only earn you points with the target. If you are rude to the non-target the target will step in earnestly defending her friend. The target will then be wary and uncomfortable spending more time in your presence, as this would be a betrayal of friendship.
Make sure you work on both girls equally so you don’t lose the girl, so the mindset for that should be if I win the friend over (maybe with laughter for example) then I win the girl, which you should be slightly more sexual and leading towards.
Don’t ignore the friend. Not only do you need to appear socially well-balanced, but you should also give the feel of being a fun conversationalist who can handle potential future nights out with her and her friends. You’re not a predator, you’re a cool guy enjoying himself meeting people. That’s what you need to portray.
Your job is to make sure her friend likes you, trusts you, and thinks you’re cool. When the friend has already consented on the target’s behalf, the target will feel compelled not to go against their friend’s decision and risk embarrassing them or arguing with them. This will buy you the first 5 minutes of conversation, which gives you more than enough time to get a laugh or two and consequently attraction.
If you don’t have a wingman, turn her friend into your wingman.
Don’t think. Just do. Do not wait more than 60 seconds for the approach. If you are unable to think of an approach, then take 2-5 minutes max to think of your approach and then GO. You are more confident and loose when you are not in your head and just committing to the moment. You may go down in flames, but who cares. You are a man. The more time you waste, the less opportunity you have, and the more you give to other guys who are on the prowl.
Don’t be a statistic. 90% of the guys in the room are thinking the same thing you are but will never go over to her, especially if she has a friend. But you are different. You will be part of the 10% and she will respect you just for being apart of that sliver of the male population. Remember, women intuitively respond to confidence and courage. Those traits can be reflected in numerous ways. Every woman knows how nerve-racking it is for a man to cross the room and strike up a conversation. By just doing it you are in an elite group.
Play them off of each other. The two-set is actually easier in some ways. You do not have to make a decision about which one you are interested in, but instead, can strike up a harmless conversation with them both about anything. Girls love to talk and the two of them might be bored with each other or love the humor of the male species. You are not hitting on them. You are striking up a conversation about something in the room. Make them laugh, share your eye contact, and do not stand limp. Who knows? Maybe the non-target is more interesting and becomes the new target.
AFTER GETTING ACCEPTED INTO THE TWO SET
Build some comfort with some casual conversation then push into likes and dislikes of local areas or places, figure out her passions and interests. This should be good enough for a number close.
Don’t buy them drinks right away. You don’t want to use the same approach every other insecure bozo she’s met that night has used. She doesn’t want to feel like she owes you anything (i.e. her time).
Enjoy yourself, and if you find yourself in a great conversation for 20-30 minutes and you notice her (or her friend’s) glass emptying, then maybe you can use this to continue the naturally-flowing interaction you two are having.
Be fun. No interview questions. Girls don’t come to bars with friends to meet guys who ask them where they live, what they do if they have a boyfriend and all that bullshit. Girls crave fun, often more than you do. They want a fun guy who knows how to flirt with women, not a guy that learns pickup routines. Embrace your inner masculinity and be comfortable with saying what’s truly on your mind vs. what you think you should be saying.
Relax and don’t try to impress her. It’s going to feel artificial and lame. Don’t try to show how cool you are, no bragging, no trying to talk yourself up. Instead, treat her like a female friend you’re really comfortable with. Joke around with her. Tease her. Give her funny nicknames. Be affectionate.
WHAT TO DO NEXT?
Lead everything and everywhere. If someone has to make a decision or a move, it’s always your responsibility. You propose moving to a new bar. Or after partying. Or meeting up again later. Don’t put the onus of leadership on her or anyone else.
Be a gentleman. Open doors, walk on the outside, help her in/out of the car. Don’t do it to impress her. Do it because you’re a classy guy. There’s a reason you see guys like James Bond do stuff like this. Because class never goes out of style.
It is very important to notice how your wingman is doing because if your girl’s friend is bored, she will blow up your spot before you know it. If the non-target girl is looking around bored and giving her friend the “save me” look, you will have no pussy tonight. So help your wingman if he is in trouble. Get him back on track.
Pratice the above techniques and have fun meeting women.
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